Ever let something control you when you know that it holds no value to your life? I found myself there last night. Chris kept telling me that I was in another place... and I was. I didn't want to be there, but I couldn't find my way out either.
I kept telling myself (and I believe to the core all of these): You are beautiful, confident, fit, LOVED, in the best shape of your life. I am comfortable in my skin like I never thought I would be and YET, here I was in this space of negativity towards myself. Why you ask? You see, we have a cruise coming up and well...
I didn't think I was ready to wear a bikini.
Say WHAT? Jennifer, seriously. Bring it all back. You're letting a bikini throw you over the edge of being excited about your vacation. I mean I laugh thinking about it, but its true. How can this one little thing send me over the edge? After all, I'm confident, smart, beautiful, and loved. My mantras on self love are on point. Ya heard?!
All week I have been focusing on self love with my challengers as I know and LIVE the personal experience of having to lose the weight BOTH physically and mentally. Mentally, I still see the 190 pound girl who yo-yo'd her weight for 29 years. But truthfully, I needed it more than my challengers.
So, last night, I took a long hot bath to relax and regroup, phone in the kitchen. Just me and my thoughts. There I decided...screw it, I'll just return all of my new bikinis and buy a tankini. THERE. FINAL. NO MORE beating myself up for not being perfect. Humph. I WON.
But I woke up this morning and thought, WAIT... I look great. Yes, Jen.. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT. Shut the front door. Embrace it. I made myself go and put on that scary bikini and SURPRISE... I was ecstatic with what I saw.
I saw hard work and pride staring back at me.
Why do I share this? I know that I am not the only one who struggles with getting in their own head. It doesn't have to be a bikini or a piece of clothing. But I ask you...
What is holding you back?
Answer that honestly. First embrace it. Acknowledge it and let it be. Then attack it full steam ahead. Life is TOO SHORT for us to be concerned about things that don't mean anything.
I smile now because I conquered that fear. Just because I am a coach doesn't mean that
#1 I have to have 6 pack abs or
#2 that I can't struggle with myself as well. I try to be as honest as possible as after all... we are REAL PEOPLE. I do have Chris to thank for talking me through my crazy. It happens to the best of us. :) And now... here's the pic. I was genuinely surprised.
 |
18 months of hard work. That EXCITEMENT says it all. |
|
If you are ready for your own transformation story, I have a group starting September 28th. I will teach you EXACTLY what I did to lose the weight and keep it off. No yo-yo dieting for me any longer.
We practice self love, embrace real food, and conquer workouts.
Join us! Only taking 5 people this go around so that I can focus on each person individually. Email me at healthylivingjen.com or fill out the application below.
Happy healthy living to all of you!